The average person eats 240 bratwursts in his lifetime, but you have never liked to think of yourself as an average person, in fact the very word makes your skin crawl, makes you envision yourself as a grey lump of mud melting in to the ground among other grey lumps of mud. This is an image that keeps you up at night. You are careful to do everything just slightly above the norm—you consume 780 bratwursts over the course of your adult life, sleep 8.75 hours each night, drink 9 glasses of water every day, celebrate two birthdays per year.
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