The average human releases 63 quarts of tears over the course of a lifetime. Ninety-eight percent of this liquid is wasted, either saturated in snotty tissues or scrubbed into the sleeve of a sweater. The other 2% is consumed after trickling into the mouth.
If you are looking to reduce the liquid your body produces, here are some tips: don’t fall in love. Don’t get a puppy. Don’t even look at puppies. Don’t watch Shirley MacLaine movies. Don’t have any friends who might one day make you proud or give you a thoughtful hand-knitted present. Drink cold water and frown.
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